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I read two brilliant quotes this morning:
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% of how you react to it.” from Charles R Swindoll and “What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” from Napoleon Hill.
They set me thinking.
January is the month for new beginnings, assessing how the past year has turned out, and how you want next 12 months to be.
If the majority of your life is determined by how you react to it, then your reactions are crucial to helping you make changes that become permanent, rather than just ideas in your head. Agreed?
And, if your mind can come up with an idea, and you believe in it…well, isn’t Napoleon Hill right, and you can achieve it?
Let me explain.
I have an ingrained habit or response to new things – new years, new months, etc. I set out enthusiastically, all guns blazing, determined that this time it’s going to be different and I will follow through and achieve what I set out to do.
Then…BOOM. Something or someone knocks me off track.
I become dispirited. I think I have failed. I give up. I decide I will never get going again and embrace the old habit I was trying to get rid of. Sound familiar?
So, I am reacting to what has happened to me (Swindoll)…and not truly believing in what I want to do (Hill). Agreed?
Except now I have an awareness of this repeated pattern of behaviour. By acknowledging it, I can see it coming. Now I am trying to take action. Not quite evasive action, but certainly action to get back on track again.
How do I do this?
By recognising when these feelings start to happen. Hearing that little voice in the back of my head and accepting it. Then saying to that little voice, “No. Not this time. No. This time, it will be OK. I will get back on track. Goodbye little voice”.
It takes time though. To learn to hear the little voice. And to then make those changes. Give yourself the luxury of allowing yourself the time to do that in 2015.
Special Offer for January 2015: Get £100 off the Golden Ticket Programme if booked before midnight on 31 January 2015. www.helenfostercoaching.co.uk
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However much you say you ‘want’ to change or you have ‘got’ to change or you ‘need’ to do something different, do you find it’s actually quite tricky to do?
I puzzle over this with my constant examination of my relationship with food and my inability to regularly exercise. I know I ‘should’ make changes to both these aspects of my life, but I don’t.
I’m starting to wonder if it’s due to a number of factors. For example, do I set my goals too high, so when I don’t achieve them in the first week/10 days/month, I’m disappointed and give up?
Here are five steps to help all of us make a change and stick to it.
Believe that change is possible
If you’re not convinced or not sure, you’ll fall at the first hurdle. Truly believe it and hold onto the idea that the change, whatever it is, is possible.
Be realistic
If you believe you can change, and you’re convinced it’s going to happen, don’t set yourself up to fail. For example, if you’re wanting to lose some weight by reducing the amount of bread you eat, don’t go and stock up on it! It’s putting temptation right there. In your face. Daring you to resist. Which you won’t be able to do.
Ask yourself, am I being realistic about giving up bread entirely? How will I manage when I go out for a meal? Be honest.
Be kind to yourself
Changing an ingrained habit does not happen overnight. It’s all about baby steps. Examine your habit. Why do you do it? Under what circumstances? Can you change the circumstance rather than the habit itself? Rather than coming in from work and going straight to the fridge, can you change your behaviour in some small way? Make it easy to do so that you can do it again the next day. And the next, and the next…
Have a vision
Imagine where you want to be. How will it feel? How will you be different? Describe it. Write it down. Own it. How real is it for you? It needs to be real so that every time the old habit seems to come back…you can remind yourself of this vision. I want to be two dress sizes smaller by next summer. Not a size 10, or even a 14. Oh no. I’ve learnt to be far more realistic. A size 16 will be fine – and realistic.
Give yourself a reward
Either a physical, tangible reward such as a smoothie after a workout, or a facial after achieving a particular goal. Set this reward up. Know how, where and when you will get it. And most importantly of all, remember to give it to yourself! Like I said earlier, be kind to yourself…you deserve it.
Good luck!
