What do you need to move forward in 2016? Clarity? Trust? Both?

Uncategorised

I read this very interesting blog in December from a former coach, Corrina Gordon-Barnes who is taking a sabbatical from her life of self employment.  I liked it because it posed a thought provoking idea for me.  Do you need to be clear before you make a leap to do something different (for example)?  or do you need trust – in yourself, in the idea that something will happen – before you do so?

Corrina might be seen as ‘brave’ for what she’s doing.  Giving up her well established and successful career to go and do… who knows what?  Yes, she had no idea what she was going to do next.  But she trusted that it would turn out alright in the end.

Ouch.

I have pitched my business as a place where you can find clarity in order to help you move forward and resolve whatever issue is holding you back.  I don’t mention ‘trust’ as such. So, have I been getting it wrong? Possibly. Or could I still be right?

You see, Corrina has been there before.  She remembers times  when she’s taken a leap of trust previously, with no clarity about what might happen next. By remembering those times she has reminded herself what worked, what didn’t. What she learnt from each experience, and what she would and wouldn’t do again.

Good for her.  I really admire that.  Still scary though.

For the rest of us, it may not be so straightforward.  I didn’t start this business without giving it lots of thought, doing lots of research (about myself mainly) and lots of thinking.  There was a bit of a leap of trust – or faith, whichever you prefer – but largely there was an element of planning so that I had the clarity about what I was going to do before I moved forward.

If you’re anything like me, you’ll want people to talk to, to bounce ideas off. You might even want a coach to listen to you when all your friends and family have got bored, as you mull over your ideas and thoughts.  A space where you can find clarity.

As you work towards finding clarity,  you build a trusting relationship with your coach and you work together to help you to move forward.  I know, because this happened for me.  My Coach had total belief that I could set up this business and have clients within the time frame I said I would.  Because I trusted her, I believed in myself too.  And off I went.

So to answer the question am I right or wrong to offer clients the space to find clarity rather than trust?  Honestly?  I think it’s important to have both.  They come hand in hand.  And sometimes people need clarity before they can leap into the unknown.

What do you think?

New season, new month, new term – could this time of year be the start of something new for you?

Uncategorised

Image courtesy of Paul Morley

New season, new term, new month – whatever September means to you, it’s a great month for considering change.

September is the new January.  What?  I hear you say.  No it’s not.  It’s the ninth month of the year, not the first.  It’s not a time for changing anything, or doing anything new…or is it?

It’s the start of a new season – autumn.  For some, it means going back to school (we should all be back in the swing of that routine now).  Some people are going back to work after a holiday.  So, three examples of September being the ‘start’ of something – I’d suggest a great time for considering change.

Change isn’t easy though, whenever you decide to do it or for whatever reason.  It needs some determination, some commitment and even, dare I say it, sometimes it needs you to take a leap into the unknown.  Scary stuff.

The first step, deciding what you want to change can be incredibly easy or incredibly hard.  In the first instance it may be that you are absolutely clear, and therefore it is easy:  I want to change my job/career/partner/life.

Or if it’s the latter (hard), it could be that you know you’ve got to make a change in order to achieve a better work-life balance, be happier, have more money, but you are not really sure.

If you’re in either of these places in September, it’s a good time to take stock and do a bit more thinking (remember the August blog? If not – have a read here).  Asking yourself these questions may go some way to helping you find some answers:

• What do you want?
• Where are you now?
• What have you got now that will help you get what you want?
• If you get what you want, how will that be better than where you are now?
• How will you know when you have achieved what you want?
• What obstacles internally and externally might stop you getting there?
• What’s the first step you need to make and when? What support do you need?

Good luck!

August……A time to relax and a time to think

Uncategorised

August is almost upon us, and in my previous life working for a busy radio station it was known as the “silly season”.  Stories that would have never seen the light of day at any other time of the year, suddenly made it into the running order.

Maybe for you though, August is a time to get away somewhere you can unwind, relax…and think.

That time to think is very important.

As you sit in a deck chair, admire a view, or lie on a beach, you may find you now have time to listen to a niggling voice in your head.  It may have been there for a while, but you’ve been ignoring it because of the general pace of life.  The voice might be asking …is this it?  Why am I doing this job? Why am I putting up being treated like this?  What can I do next?

August is a perfect month for considering these questions.  Mulling them over; thinking them through.  As the author Nancy Kline says in her book “Time to Think” “The best conditions for thinking, if you really stop and notice, are not tense. They are gentle. They are quiet. They are unrushed.”

How often do you give yourself the time to be still?  Be peaceful?  Be gentle?  Possibly not very often.  Perhaps you’re rushing around to deliberately avoid those difficult questions?

Why would you do that? Because you’re not being true to yourself, listening to that voice and moving towards making a change.  Just by listening to what you might want is the first step.

So, use August for what it is.  A time to chill out; to relax; A Time to Think.  Maybe by giving yourself that time, you’ll find what it is you are truly looking for.

Have a thoughtful summer.

At a crossroads? Might it be time to choose a new direction?

Uncategorised

When Prince Harry announced he was leaving military service and admitted he was at a “crossroads”, it set me thinking that other people must often find themselves at their own crossroads too.  You’ve done a particular job, or had a particular way of life, and then, for whatever reason, it comes to an end.  It can knock you for six.

Less than four years ago, I was also at a crossroads too. The BBC was moving my department, Radio 5live, up to Salford.  As a family, we decided it was not for us and I took voluntary redundancy.  However, I had no idea what I would do next.

There had been a nagging doubt about staying at the Beeb which I had been ignoring and I thought now this might be the time to go and do something new.  But what?

I knew I had certain things I did want to do:  I wanted to take the kids to school and pick them up. I didn’t want them waking at the crack of dawn to be at the childminders for 8am, and not home until 6.30pm.  I wanted to reduce my commuting and hopefully my stress.

What I hadn’t bargained for was quite how long it would take me to decide on the direction to move in once I’d left the BBC.

Initially, it was easy.  I did some freelancing back at Auntie – quite a lot to start with.  Which was good.  “It’s important to keep my hand in”. I reasoned.  But I still wasn’t happy.

I talked to my husband, my friends.  I explored different ideas. Briefly I tried to sell up-market kitchen products. I didn’t enjoy it, but   “It was important to find out what I didn’t want to do.” I reasoned.

So a two full years after leaving the BBC, I was still at my crossroads and unsure of which direction to go in.  Two years! In the scheme of things, I guess it’s not that long, except think of the time I lost and possible income.

So, why did it take me so long? Well, like Prince Harry, I loved my job.  I loved the work.  I loved the people I came across.  I loved my colleagues.  So, how was I ever going to replace all that?  Whatever I did had to still provide me with the fulfillment I was used to.

There is no easy answer, and I do wish I had the definitive one because then I’d bottle it, sell it and make my fortune.

I know how I’d have done it differently though.

I’d have got myself a coach.   Why? Because it would have saved me two years of uncertainty.  Two years of going round and round in circles boring my friends and family with “what should I do?”

If I’d known then how powerful coaching could be, I would have made that investment as early as possible.

I would have gone through that period of grieving for what I loved (the BBC), but with support from the coach.  He/She would have helped me to identify what my values are (those things that are important to me and are non-negotiable), what ideas I had for what I could do and explore the things that were holding me back (my limiting beliefs).  Then we would have worked out what I was going to do in order to achieve my goals.

A coach offers that ‘outside’ perspective which your friends and family can’t.  A coach is non-judgmental, has no agenda and can ask you questions that you’re too scared to ask yourself.  He/She (me!) can help you achieve that career change or whatever change you want to make.

Sitting at the crossroads doing nothing isn’t an option.  It’s frustrating, depressing and boring.  So make a move to find the right direction and take that important first step – call a coach.